As individuals and as a society, we face new stressors and burdens each day. Those things come on top of the baggage we are already carrying from our younger lives, things which have hurt or shaped us but don’t get talked about. It is important that we interact with and minister to each other with the understanding that everyone has a backstory which affects their present-day reactions and processing ability. By not taking things personally and by assuming that trauma is often just under the surface of something that looks like conflict, we can move our friendships and communities forward with love.

Catherine Vance is a member of BAUUC who is a trained interfaith chaplain, a writer, and an aspirant to UU ministry attending Iliff School of Theology in Denver.